Meeting someone from online, safely

• Talk for a bit first. A few days of messages tells you a lot. Real people ask about you and remember what you said.
• Have a short video call. Five minutes is enough to know the person matches their photos. Someone who always has a reason not to is telling you something.
• Check the photos. A reverse image search (Google Lens will do it) shows whether a photo belongs to someone else, like a model or an influencer.
• Notice if the story keeps moving. A job overseas, a sick relative, a payment that's stuck. Stories that end with you sending something are the ones to walk away from.

• Somewhere public and busy. A coffee shop, a market, a popular walking spot. Not a home, not somewhere remote, not a first date in a car.
• Somewhere you know. You'll be more relaxed on your own ground, and you'll know how to get home from there.
• In daylight, the first time. It's easier to leave, and easier to say yes to a second date that isn't.

• Tell a friend where you'll be. Who, where and until when. Share your live location for the afternoon and agree a time to check in.
• Arrive and leave on your own. Drive yourself or book your own ride, so you're never waiting on someone else to go home.
• Trust the feeling. If something is off, leave. You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Not for an emergency, a flight, airtime or an investment, however good the story is. Someone who asks for money is a scammer, every time. Report them, and stop replying. Our safety page lists the other warning signs, what we do to keep Dateclub safe, and South African helpline numbers.

• First date ideas in South Africa Easy first dates that aren't dinner: coffee, a hike, a market, a braai. What makes a good first date, and ideas for every budget.
• How to write a dating profile bio What to put in a dating profile bio so the right people say hello: be specific, sound like yourself, and give them something to ask about.
• What to say in a first message How to write an opening message that gets a reply: use their profile, ask one real question, and keep it short. With examples.